Why do some people create drama? I remember reading somewhere that children of alcoholics and abusive families create chaos because they don't know how to function in a world of peace and understanding. They function better and feel more at ease when their surrounds are in a constant state of upheaval - to the point that they will create drama where there is none simply so that they can feel comfortable.
When you have to spend a quarter of the year - that is 573.75 hours of your life - shut off from the world in a room with the same 10 people, you need to learn to adapt to a variety of personalities. Some you may like and get along with, others you may not, but there is never a need to whisper falsehoods in the shadows.
All I can do is feel sorry for you. To have a self esteem so shattered that you need to create strife in hopes that chaos will ensue and you will either be the victorious fixer or the empathetic victim. The thing you never calculated in to your equation is that there will always be the one person who does not bite. I am that person.
I will not partake in the petty whispers. I will not listen and I will not share. Iron sharpens iron so if I am not one to sit in the quiet moments with you, you are not made of "stronger stuff". I am not mad at you for what you have done. I simply feel sorry for you that you believe you have to do it. I pray for you - and I have been since that first day when so much negativity came forth. I tried to befriend you but your evil words and ugliness just made me feel horrible. So I quietly became busy and slipped away. I didn't say anything ugly or do anything evil. I simply was not there... and you have decided to whisper in the shadows in an attempt to create chaos.
I am 44, not 4. I have been graduated from such childish things for quite some time. Yes, initially, I was angry... hurt... annoyed... and then I took a deep breath and thought about it on my drive home. That is when I simply felt sorry for you.
While I was raised with the understanding that you are known by the company you keep, I will not keep company with you. I do not want to be painted with your same brush. I will, however, pray for you. I will, however, wish you well. I will not speak ill of you. In all actuality, I will not acknowledge you in anything less that a professional manner.
We are not friends. We are colleagues. I am an adult. You can choose to continue to whisper in your shadows and wait for the inevitable to catch up with you or you may simply stand up, come into the light, and be an adult too.
The choice is yours.
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