Out of my comfort zone

So I spent yesterday day - all day - out of my comfort zone... the whole week, actually. I won't go into detail because it just makes me cry but between horrific people, losing loved ones, and extreme challenges at work, this work week was simply brutal. I honestly think I cried every single day of the week. Not tears of frustration either. These were heartbreaking tears of just complete and utter sadness. It was a rough week... but I digress.

Wednesdays are my Saturdays. After such a gut-wrenching week, I wanted to do nothing but be a human burrito in my squishy Lazyboy chair and binge watch old TV series. Instead, I got up early and headed an hour and a half away to meet two girls from work who share my passion for fiber arts. I didn't want to, but I did because I promised. Don't get me wrong, these girls are amazing and sweet and funny and beautiful souls whom I truly treasure. My anxiety was on point by Wednesday and it was simply a struggle to put on that "I'm fine" mask and people. Peopling has never been my strong suit but I make myself do it anyway, even when I don't want to do it all.

So I took them to my favorite yarn shop in the universe, Four Purls. They were adorably overwhelmed. We sat in the living room a good bit, just so they could get comfortable and acclimated to their surroundings. I guess it can be a lot to take in if you have never been to a LYS as opposed to popping into a big box store and picking through their meager offerings. Don't misunderstand, I love me some Hobby Lobby and JoAnn Fabrics goodness but nothing compares to the sheer joy found in a local yarn shop.

They both walked out with yarn for a new project - Glow* is making a long cowl for her new job which requires 100% travel in soon to be cold areas and Eartha* is making a Barley hat and a guinea pig since she has one at home that she adores. I got yarn to make myself a Madame Entrechat, with a twist. Here's my yarn...

It is Emma's Yarn in the Practically Perfect Sock base in the colorway 80s Rewind

My pattern calls for worsted weight yarn but I wanted it to be a mostly white base with speckles of color. I was hoping that Emma, one of the actual Purls in the Four Purls collection of kids, had branched out into worsted weight but she seems to be sticking with sock/fingering bases at the moment. I wandered around the shop several times, always admiring my favorite worsted yarn, Malabrigo Rios, but the colorway I had in mind just didn't exist.. and every time, I would end back on the back wall staring at this yarn because it was perfect... but the wrong weight... so I just jumped even further from my comfort zone and bought it, determined to do the math to make this project.

Now, let's all keep in mind that I am not mathematically inclined. The thought of recalculating an entire pattern stitch count for a sweater is not something I do. I usually bend my vision to match what I have at my disposal, not the other way around... but I did it... eventually.

I came home yesterday afternoon and stared at my freshly caked yarn and panic hit me. What have I done?!? Did I just waste over $80 on yarn for a project that I won't have the ability/courage/intelligence to do?!? After several hours (I wish I was kidding, I'm not) of this anxiety driven diatribe, I started researching. I purchased 1200 yards of it since the worsted weight pattern called for 900 and I was going to need more than that for obvious reasons that even I understood without doing the math. I figured first things first and I found some old icky US 3 needles and made a swatch... then I ordered a new pair of fixed circulars... then I finished my swatch. I got 6 stitches per inch. I knew I needed to worry more about the across stitch count than the length in inches because I can fix that easily by simply continuing to knit until it is the desired length. So there I had it. 6 stitches per inch. The pattern had 18 stitches for 4 inches which divided out to 4.5 stitches per inch. Now what! I had information but no clue what to do next.

Then I found the most amazing page in all of the world wide webs and I heard angels singing as the heavens poured enchanted sparkling light on everything. Once I read through it a couple of times, I had enough confidence to attempt the first section of the pattern. Then, I mathed. I mathed so hard, my head swam! Once that part was done, and I checked it three times to ensure my counts matched what the amazing page said the calculations should match, I moved on to the next section. I was tired, emotionally spent, but I soldiered on and managed to math the entire pattern conversion!! I wrote it all out in the notes section of my project page so I would not lose it. I printed out the project page just in case Murphy and his laws decided to play around with things. I was in awe of myself - I mathed!!

Today, I will be mostly in my comfort zone since it is my Sunday. I will do a few chores around the house because you can't escape adulting but otherwise, I will be knitting my calculations. I will start this project on my icky needles while I wait for my new ones to arrive. I am anxious, but not in my normal sense. I am anxious for good reasons, as I really am proud of myself for all that I accomplished yesterday and if my calculations are correct, I will have something to remind myself of this moment once I finish my sweater.

Sometimes... just sometimes... it's good to get out of your comfort zone.

*Names were changed because I didn't ask if I could share their day with the world