18 June 2012

A simple rule

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

That's it. Doesn't sound too terribly difficult, does it? I didn't think so either, but apparently we are both wrong. It is much easier to jump to ludicrous conclusions, point fingers of blame and be wounded then to simply seek out further clarification and understanding. One leaves a person with knowledge, the other with hurt feelings.

If something is said or written and you are unsure if it is meant about you personally - take a moment and think... does this person's life revolve around you? Could it be possible that there are greater trials and tribulations in this person's life than you? If the answer is no, well than let us first offer our heartfelt congratulations on being the center of the universe.  We'll have to call our mothers and inform them that they were correct back when we were children, that we honestly weren't the center but it was in fact you. They will be so thrilled. Secondly, we must add... seriously?

Once you have indeed learned that nothing had anything to do with you, please accept it. It takes too much energy to tell tall tales... but twisting things to fit what you want them to be instead of the reality of what they truly are is a rare talent. Thank you for taking us on the giant leap in irrational thinking so we can see where you are coming from - it must be beautiful in your world, being the center of the  universe and all as we've just discovered, but to have such a creative imagination to live in such a fantasy world is truly a gift. Taking every word that was said and making it all about you, amazing. The intellectual acrobatics to go from point A to point Z is truly astounding. Be sure to take some Dramamine because the road is rather windy, taking sharp twists and turns in the most unusual and irrational directions.

The best part, once you've been shown the error of your thinking, is the ability to not own a single bit of it - as we all have seen, it's much easier (and more fun apparently) to play the one who has been terribly wronged. It's almost as if you prefer to live in chaos - as soon as one area is calm and life is running smoothly, you create strife in another so that you can function. It is a noticeable pattern and it should be evaluated but we don't have the proper degrees to deal with that level of.. to work with... well, let's just call it a specialized field of study. By not playing along in your fantasy world, we've ruined your plan and it leaves you flying about like a moth attacking a light bulb - rather frustrating and ultimately will end with nothing more than being exhausted and having a headache.

So you see, if you always seek first to understand, then to be understood, you will live a serine life.  The next time you feel as though something is up and not quite right with what someone else has said - be the adult and simply ask... you shouldn't be surprised when you learn that it has nothing to do with you.  Perhaps you might even grow a little and offer a shoulder of support... but let's start with this - we wouldn't want you to pull a muscle.

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