09 June 2012

Did I ever tell you...

That there is this rocker upstairs, holding a quilt that my mama made.

Next to it, this bookshelf stands in waiting for my knitting library.

Just past that is this closet, waiting to house all of my different stashes.

Patterns, baskets, bobbins and buttons.

Yards, scraps and fat quarters abound.

My sewing machine waits to be set up and attended to - patient thing.

Complete with a lamp from the room I still cry in when I enter.
I haven't been upstairs in a year.  Sounds crazy, I know.. but I couldn't do it without crying.  Even now, thinking about how it has been a year since I have seen or held my first born little girl... I get choked up.  I miss her.  It's that simple.. and when you miss someone with all your heart, it's hard to soldier on.  You do, but you feel as though part of you is missing... mainly because, it is.

My husband did something for me that I will always love him for - he has helped me move forward.  It wasn't monumental or earth shattering.  It wasn't grandiose or lavishly expensive.  All he did was make a simple dream of mine a reality - to remind me to breathe, find my footing and redesign my world.  Peanut was raised to be an independent soul, capable of great things, so we should rejoice that she is doing just that.  It's okay to be sad and to miss her, but it is also okay to pick yourself up and move on.. and that is what I am now trying to do... now.

Peanut and I have a special history - in a way, we grew up together.  I think her being away has been harder on me than her... for her it's exciting and new and I don't begrudge her one bit. I've been there before, I understand and I love to read about all her adventures and see all her photos.  I even know that one day, she will want nothing more than to come home for a visit - part of me just wishes that that particular day would hurry up and arrive.  So to help me wait it out, Pokey and Hobbit made another dream of mine come true.  They set up my very own craft room.

It's upstairs, in Hobbit's old room.  My sewing machine, rocker and material stash is all up there.  I even have a bookcase to house my crafting library and a cute hanging organizer so I can 'display' my yarn.  There is an old princess poster of Hobbit's and an old lamp of Peanut's... gentle reminders of my girls.  By setting up my craft room, it forces me to go upstairs and by going upstairs, it forces me to soldier on.  Even this week, we started eating supper at the table again... slowly bring back a bit of normalcy to our lives.

I will always be grateful for my family - because they always seem to know exactly what I need... even when I don't.


  1. What a wonderful space. I hope it will help you live with the distance.

    I have an old bedroom as my craft room, too, only it is a huge mess. Must clean soon!

    1. Each day I have taken up something to fill the space. Yesterday, my yarn stash found it's way up there. Today (and for the next few days), my knitting library will be headed that direction. Lots of books means lots of trips with the laundry basket full of books... although I may have Pokey toddle them upstairs for me - they're heavy!


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