I woke up this morning slightly more energetic than the past few days and dared to make myself a list. Definite sign I was feeling better - lists were being made, plans were being formulated and action was going to take place... that is, until the phone rang.
When a person's phone rings before or after certain times in the day, you know it's nothing good. I looked at the caller ID and saw Peanut's cell phone. Instead of my normal "Hi baby", she was greeted with a "What's wrong?" because she never calls before school starts - during lunch, sure but never before morning bell. One the other end I can hear the voice of my little girl, struggling not to cry as she tells me that she was just physically ill... and that's when my heart broke.
It's one thing to be sick but it's a completely different ball game when you toss your cookies at school. I've been there and I'll never forget it. It was 5th grade and I was 9 years old. We were watching a movie about volcanoes and I did not feel well at all. I would raise my hand but my teacher would fuss at me to put it down. I tried to get up and tell her that I wasn't feeling well but she told me if I was disruptive again that I would go to the principle's office. So there I was - afraid I was going to throw up but more afraid of going to the principle's office... what was I going to do. I can tell you what I did do - I was sick all over my desk at the exact same time a volcano exploded. My teacher then rushed over and asked me why I didn't tell her... oh yeah, she went there.
This was almost thirty years ago and I can still recall every single detail so I know how doubly awful it is to feel sick and feel sick while you are at school. I told her to sit tight, I would be there to come get her. I ran up the stairs, woke up Hobbit and told her we had to run and get Sissy from school because she threw up. The concern and worry all over Hobbit's face re-broke my heart. Her was her sister, her hero, who was ill and alone. Oh yes, we needed to hurry because nothing will make her sissy feel better other than having her by her side. No time for clothes, nightshirts are fine - it's just the car Mama, we have bigger things to worry about now.
Now would be a good time to tell you that we participate in the school choice program for our state. Normally, your school is just a hop, skip and a jump away from your home. Peanut's school is a hop, skip, jump, dosey doe, promenade and back handspring from our home. Normally, we don't think about it. The school is great. She is excelling in her classes. It's a dream come true... until today. Today it is a million miles away and I can't fathom why I would agree to such things.
Hobbit and I arrive to find Peanut a crumbled mess against the wall outside the front entrance. I could see the tear trails glistening in the morning sun. The door opened and I asked how she was doing. My poor baby sobbed that she had just gotten sick on the stairs - volcano movie flashback again - heart breaks again. I asked if anyone said anything and she said no - heart mends just a tiny bit. Peanut gets situated in the car and we head off. I told her that if we need to, just tell me and I'll pull over for her. I took the back way home, just in case, and it's a good thing I did. Hobbit is looking helpless in my rear view mirror. Peanut is looking helpless in my front seat and I'm feeling helpless all together.
We finally made it home though. I got Hobbit off to school in record time and Peanut is still asleep in her room after getting home four hours ago. I've gone up to check on her a few times and she looks so puny. She's no bigger than a minute to start with, no need to add this to the mix. She will be staying home tomorrow. Being that sick, that often, in that short amount of time really wears a person down so I'm going to email her teachers and let her rest. I hope when she gets up later on today she's feeling better - and has some color back in her cheeks - gray doesn't work well for her.
Sick babies, no matter what their age, will break a mother's heart - I know it does mine.