Wow, Too Bad

So my sweet friend stumbled across a job opening in Craig's List that would have been perfect for me.  It was home based, the hours were exactly what I needed (9-1) and it was M/W/F... thank you Jesus, right... wrong.  Here is the response I got from my carefully crafted cover letter (alright, so I swiped it from my daddy years ago but it's got just the right amount of 'umph' to get attention.. my friend agrees, she hired me off of it years ago... lol).  Be sure to read all of it... I'd hate for you to miss the kicker.  I made it a tad easier to locate too, hate for you to miss it.


Dear My PA

Thanks for applying for the post, I quite I appreciate it?I read your e-mail and it's reasonable and acceptable. So I will give this a go"

This position is home-based and flexible, working with me is basically about instructions and following them, my only fear is that I may come at you impromptu sometimes, so I need someone who can be able to meet up with my irregular timings. As my assistant, your activities amongst other things will include;

*Running personal errands, supervisions and monitoring. Scheduling programmed, flights and keeping me up to date with them,Acting as an alternative telephone correspondence while I'm away.Making regular contacts and drop-offs on my behalf. Handling and monitoring some of my financial activities..Basic wage is $600 a week .

I'm sure you'll understand I tend to have a very busy schedule at this point, as I am presently in Ontario Canada, I will be back in Three Weeks.I think you're the right person for this post , Please note that this position is not office based for now because of my frequent travels and tight schedules, it's a part-time, work from home basis and the flexibility means that there will be busier weeks than others, so it's a little difficult judging the exact number of hours you'll be doing per week.If you can manage your time properly, this job may even give you some extra while you do something else on the side. As I have said, I'd want us to get a head start with things as soon as possible. I do have a pile up of work and a number of unattended chores which you can immediately assist me with, I hope we can meet up with the workload eventually.

Permit me to use this week to test your efficiency and diligence towards all this, also to work out your time schedule and fit it to mine. I really need to find the perfect person for this job, I'm confident you can take up the challenge and on the long run we should have a relatively sound working relationship between us.. I'm online most of the time as I am hard of hearing so I prefer to we contact each other through E-mails , but if there is need for me to call Okay Here's my yahoo messenger (knowles_randall@yahoo.com) you can also add me to your yahoo messenger so that will can know more each Other

I am glad you are willing to work with me and i promise to be a good boss. I am also glad on the commitment in working. I have been checking my files and what i would want you to do for me this week is to run some errands out to some of the orphanage home, I do that every month . The funds will be in form of Money Order and it will be sent over to you from one of my clients and i have some list to email you once you received the funds,You will make some arrangements by buying some stuff for the kids in the nearest store around you so you can mail them out. I will get you more information on that,I will like you to get back to me with your Contact Details such as:

 Full Name:
Contact Address NO P.O BOX:
City:
State:
Zip-Code:
Phone Number:
Occupation:

Once I have received your contact information, I will get back to you with the task for this week,Understand you will also be paid as well as its important for me to make the necessary steps before i get back from my business trip back to the states. Hope I am clear with that.

Get back as soon as possible..

 Knowles Randall