30 October 2010

Intimacy & Marriage

I have to laugh at the young couples today.  They seem to be under the impression that sex is the cornerstone of a marriage... it is what makes a marriage work.  They call it intimacy but those of us who have been around the block a few times know that there is more to intimacy and marriage than just sex... I mean seriously, these kids today are so off base it isn't even funny.

How do you define intimacy in your marriage?  It was a question I posed in a one of my forums.  Many people define it as making love to their spouse but it is so much more than that really.  Intimacy comes in a million forms and very few involve a sexual act... although many couples don't take the time or spend the energy getting to know their spouse on such a deep and meaningful level - and it is a shame.

My husband and I are completely intimate - in a million different ways.  Yes, we have a wonderful sex life but we also know each other completely.  We have long, deep conversations about everything and nothing.  We have promised to take the time to learn all the facets of one another and we are living up to that promise.  As you grow older, the sex will fade (it's true and it's natural) but the intimacy that you created will keep the spark in your marriage... if you've taken the time to build that intimacy.

What is more intimate than knowing what a sigh means, a glance or a habit?  What is more intimate than being able to anticipate your spouse's needs before they even know they needed it?  Two shall become one - that phrase is not dealing with sex at all.  It deals with two halves knowing one another so completely that they become a whole.  While sex is great and fun and has it's purpose in a marriage - it isn't the core of intimacy at all... the heart is and to truly know that is to be completely intimate.

1 comment:

  1. I've not been married long, and I am very young. I'm an old soul though I guess you could say. I always believed that Sex wasn't what made a marriage work but rather patience, understanding, a few fights, a lot of apologizing, and of course, tears. I mean, there's got to be a reason the "In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad" phrases are in most marriage vows, right?
    Anyway, I wanted to say that I greatly appreciated this blog. I like your point of view on things.
    (p.s. I'm DereksBabyMomma on CafeMom....and yes, I would like a cup of coffee haha!)


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