19 October 2010

Why Not Just Say No?

I really dislike it when you ask someone for help and they say "Sure, but I'll need your help" and then never do it.  Keep in mind, you've asked repeatedly for weeks on end for this simple task to be done and the response is always "I will" or "Okay honey"... only to have it still incomplete and not even thought about - so why not just say no?  Seriously, I would rather someone tell me honestly and politely that they don't want to do something than to hem and haw over it for months on end.  If I wanted to wait months, I would not have asked.

Case in point - I wanted the garage organized.  I asked my husband to help on one of  his days off in which the initial response was "Sure, but I'll need your help".  Now, had I have known that that particular phrase translates into "I don't want to and I am going to put it off for forty forevers until you get so ticked off that you'll do it yourself", I wouldn't have asked for help.  Being the sweet and patient wife that I am, I waited.  After all, he does work 40 hours a week with an hour commute each way to feed, clothe and shelter this family.  The least I can do is not harp on him about something as trivial as the garage.

Needless to say, it didn't get done that week... or the next... or the one after that and so yesterday I just did it myself.  I wheeled the huge TV out to the curb and a neighbor wheeled it on down the block to his house for his son's room.  I put the old sofa and love seat up on Craigslist to be sold and it was gone before my husband got home for supper.  I managed to reorganized the garage in a manner of two hours and surprisingly, it all worked out to where my husband didn't have to lift a finger... but had I have known the translation of the aforementioned phrase, I would have known this, wouldn't I.

Now, it has happened again with the computer-kitchen pass through counter.  It seems to be a catch all for mail, papers and miscellaneous junk.  Everyone in this family has been warned that if it doesn't get picked up, I will simply throw it away and not think twice about it.  I asked Pokey, once again, for help with the area since I never use it and it was mostly his stuff.  This morning, when I mentioned the counter again, I received the response that I have since learned to translate so instead of waiting another couple of weeks, I simply grabbed a grocery sack and tossed it all away while he went to pick up Peanut from school.  It took me all of 10 minutes to complete because I attacked it with the mindset that if it was so important that he needed it, he should have put it away to being with, right.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with every fiber of my being.  We just have different ideas regarding when things need to be done.  I am more of a "let's do it and get it over with" kind of girl and he's more of a "it's not bothering me so I'm not worrying with it" kind of guy.  I can either sit around and stew over the fact that he is this way or I can simply do it myself... I chose the later.

One must always remember to look at the flip side - for as much as I find him to be a procrastinator, he finds me to be high strung and slightly OCD... and he loves me anyway too.  I guess we'll just go through life shaking our heads and smiling at the quirky things that make us who we are and give us just another reminder of what we love about one another.  I motivate him to do things and he teaches me not to sweat all the small stuff.

I just ask that please, in the future, if you don't want to do something to simply say no so I can go ahead and have it done so we'll both be happy.

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