01 December 2010

1639 Miles Away

I should be saying "Congratulations, I'm so proud of you"... I should and I have... but I only half meant it.  Don't get me wrong, I am so very proud that Peanut just found out she was accepted into a university with a program that she really wants.  I am so very proud that she accomplished her goals with her ACT scores and GPA just to be accepted.  Those accomplishments put me over the moon - being 1639 miles away simply breaks my heart and brings me to tears, that's all.

Most parents can't wait for the day when their kids are grown and out of the house so they can, as it's been told to me, "get on with their lives".  I don't like that phrase being applied to children - mainly because they are my life.  I raised them to be independent.  I raised them to believe that they can do anything and to never be afraid to try.  I raised them to dream big and go for it... so why am I so upset that Peanut actually did?

She's my baby.  We've been through so much together.  She's the Rory to my Lorelei.  I want her to be fearless, to grow and be strong... but nothings says that I have to like it.

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