Hobbit and I went to the pool this afternoon after lunch. It was a beautiful day and most people tend to get their 'baking' done and are gone by the time we arrive. When we got there, there was one single solitary woman, lazily floating in the deep end - using the ledge as a pillow and enjoying the peaceful lull of the water.
Hobbit and I stay in the shallow area because she doesn't swim fabulously yet. We spun and jumped and giggled and floated and raced and danced - we just played. It was shaping up to be a wonderful afternoon.. at least, it was until they showed up... the Sanctimommies. I know that not all Sanctimommies come from the New England area but the ones that live here do. They are loud, obnoxious, rude and basically void of any level of decorum.
So, in they march with their misbehaving, foul mouthed, disgusting brood - basically miniature versions of them. The other lady, the one from the deep end, looked up and when she saw who it was she smiled at us and left the pool. Those two sat on the ledge of the pool in their age/body type inappropriate bikinis with their hair twisted up, Foster Grants on and wreaking of suntan oil (which is not allowed in our pool). Their perfectly manicured hands waving about as they spoke through their noses, once again proclaiming that New England is the only place worth living.
After a few moments of Hobbit and I playing at the other side of the pool, fending off the splashes, spits and slaps of their minions, the Sanctimommies proclaimed that they would love to go back to their New England home because they can't stand to be surrounded by all these "fat, lazy, ignorant Southerners who don't have an ounce of class". At this point, I'm working really hard not to take this personally - I am a Southerner and I am the only other person at the pool.
While they may believe that we Southerners are below them - I simply asked Hobbit to get out of the pool because it was very obviously time to go home. There is no need for my child to have to listen to their bile. I was not the one sitting there, too pretentious to get my hair wet or play with my own child. I was not the one insulting others simply to make myself feel better. My child wasn't the one running and jumping on other kids in the pool.
I'll tell you what, dear Sanctimommies - if you believe New England to be the greatest place in the universe, by all means, go back... I'll help you pack. We Southerners are always there to lend a hand to a neighbor in need... oh, and then you can kiss my G.R.I.T.S!